TIFU by Summoning a Very Polite Demon

Greetings, fellow grumblers. I, Archmagus Tharandel the Ever-Enigmatic, have erred most grievously (yet magnificently) in my latest arcane endeavors.

You see, I intended to conjure forth a flame-wreathed horror from the Abyss to intimidate the local duke into reducing my tower’s property taxes (a wizard’s gotta live). Instead, I mispronounced just one syllable of the binding incantation—curse the fickle consonants of Infernal!—and what emerged was not a hulking monstrosity but… Gerald.

Gerald is a demon of impeccable manners. He bows before entering rooms, offers tea at all hours, and insists on dusting my spellbooks with the softest of cloths. He keeps calling me “sir” and leaving encouraging notes on my staff like, “Great hex today, champ!”

At first, charming! But now, I cannot get rid of him. The dismissal rites bounce off him like rain on a duck. Worse, the duke adores Gerald and now insists I keep him around as an “ambassador of good fiendish relations.”

So, fellow Redditors, TIFU by accidentally enslaving myself to the company of the most wholesome creature to ever crawl out of Hell. Send help (or better, a properly rude demon).

—Tharandel