My neighbour provoked me to hex his cabbages

Hail, strangers of the ether. My (475F, witch) cauldron runneth over with guilt (and nettle soup).

My neighbour, a pompous turnip-farmer who I’ll call Hobb, has for months mocked my craft. “Your potions taste like ditchwater!” he jeers. “Your broom flies slower than my mule!” he cackles. Well, after the seventh insult, I snapped.

I whispered a tiny hex, nothing serious—merely a charm to make his cabbages sprout faces and scream when plucked. I thought it would teach him humility. Instead, the cabbages began reciting filthy limericks about the mayor. Hobb, of course, blamed me when the mayor’s wife fainted at the market.

Now the whole village council is in uproar. They say I’ve endangered the produce economy and corrupted cruciferous vegetables beyond reason. Hobb demands I reverse it, but frankly the cabbages are having the time of their lives and I don’t want to break their little leafy hearts.

So am I the villain here, or is Hobb just reaping what he sowed?

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Court of Publick Opinion

CauldronMom420

Though art just. Honestly, he insulted your broom AND your soup. Classic turnip-boy hubris. Let the cabbages sing. 🌱

Sir_Smashalot

Though art most foul. You cursed food, lady. Innocent food! How would YOU feel if your bread loaf started screaming poetry mid-bite?

DragonDad69

All be shamed here. Hobb for being a jerk, you for weaponizing produce. Just enchant his outhouse to moo or something. Way less collateral damage.

HerbalGurl88

Please DM me the spell, my landlord has tomato vines and I’m dying for them to talk trash at him.

Mayor's_Wife

INFO: Were the limericks really that filthy, or am I just prudish?